A divorce can be one of the most difficult time periods for you, your spouse and any children that the two of you share together. With this said, children also can pick up on it if two parents are sticking together simply for them, and inadvertently creating a toxic household. If divorce is the best decision to be made, you need to be sure that you are doing it in a way that protects your child and empowers both parents to remain an equal part of the child's life. These tips below will show you important considerations in order to make that happen.
Get a collaborative divorce
When you and your spouse realize that the relationship is over, you should work to put your feelings aside and seek a collaborative divorce. This form of divorce, also called civil divorce, lets you dissolve your marriage by opening with an agreement that asserts you will remain ethical, hire the right team to fairly facilitate the divorce process and work hard to settle the matter outside of court. You and your spouse will sign this agreement and then begin working through the dissolution of your property and assets. You will meet in a number of conferences to determine this and a series of other issues, including child custody and visitation rights. By starting your divorce off in this manner, it is a clear affirmation that the two of you are on board to remain good parents for the child, even if you are not staying together.
Be mindful of the way you communicate during the divorce process
The following decisions are incredibly powerful in keeping your child aware during the divorce process, but also shielding them from potential harm:
- Be open and honest about the reason you are getting divorced, making sure to keep it age-appropriate and without blaming.
- Start making changes so that you can remain good role models for your child and to show your child that you are working toward a positive situation, despite the divorce.
- Hold planned conversations with your child so that emotions can be kept in check and so that there is no blame.
- Set aside time for strictly allowing your child to vent and share their feelings, without trying to talk them out of those feelings or protect any egos.
Following a strategy for co-parenting once the divorce is final
Even though divorces are arduous, the real work begins once it is finalized. Use these tips to develop a sound co-parenting strategy:
- Set rules, boundaries and enforcement that is consistent between both households during visitation times.
- Remain a healthy example for your child even though your lifestyle is changing.
- Don't use your child to vent or share any frustration about your new divorce.
- Never send messages back and forth through the child during visitation times.
- Commit to showing up to your children's important events together, despite the fact that you no longer live together.
These tips will be great for any parent going through a divorce. For more information or assistance, contact a divorce lawyer, like one from The Law Offices of Paul F. Moore II.